August 24, 2008
Inappropriate Gallery Comments

I'm sorry that the gallery is still being targeted by bots with offensive text. We thought the problem was fixed, but Tom said he'll look at it today and, hopefully, stop the spam for good. I don't check the gallery as often as I should, so if you encounter offensive comments, please feel free to flag them yourself and they'll be deleted right away. Thank you for helping us monitor the site.

August 7, 2008
Fortunes

My son and I enjoy reading the profundities to be found inside Chinese fortune cookies, which, by the way, are not Chinese in origin. Over the years I've kept a few of those little strips of paper, either because they amused me, or, sadly, offered some meager encouragment. One of my recent favorites was inside my 15-year-old son's cookie: If you wish good advice, consult your mother. Of course, it probably should have had a disclaimer under the Lucky Numbers: Consult your mother at your own risk. Acme Fortunes in no way guarantees that maternal advice, given and/or followed, will always turn out for the best. Results may vary. Our fortunetellers recommend taking any advice with a grain of salt." The last time we got Chinese take-out, my son got another gem: No need to worry! You will always have everything that you need. What a relief!

Here's one that I got:



A potential urge. It's good to know that I may potentially feel like doing something, and when the urge turns into action, I now have the confidence in my ability for accomplishment. Cleaning the bathroom is an accomplishment...right?

August 5, 2008
One of my more demented creations...

Another eBay find, begging for a dignified end. A plea which I ignored. However, not wanting to play Dr. Moreau and create some sort of dolly abomination, I decided instead to make an "art" piece. What else could I do with a crazy-eyed doll head and an empty prescription bottle? Anyway, I had started out by making a Marilyn Monroe-ish blonde wig -- a sad cliché, but it was only priming the creative pump (it wasn't turning out well and forced me to think a little harder). I have no idea what inspired me to bandage the poor thing's noggin instead, but it borders on brilliance (much the same way that Iceland borders Great Britain...).



Here's a close-up of the unique, and probably illegal, counterfeit prescription label I made to finish the job.



The funny thing is, if you turn her upside down, her eyes change position. Sometimes she looks like a normal, well-adjusted doll. Like when I went to take her picture and wanted her to look loopy. So I had to jiggle her around a bit to get the desired expression. It was rough, but sometimes that's what an artist has to do.

August 3, 2008
Thrift Stores

I absolutely love them. I can make impulse purchases at a second-hand shop like Paris Hilton in a pet store. Of course, I was spoiled living in California -- lots of thrift stores and most of them HUGE. There was one, near a sushi place where we sometimes played Russian Roulette with food poisoning, that had two stories of possible treasures. Unfortunately, the only one near where we now live is very small, forcing me to shop eBay more often than is good for my husband thinks is good for me.

One of my recent, totally-worth-it, spectacular eBay wins was a small lot of really messed up old dolls. (Score!) I do enjoy finding dolls that are beyond restoring or not collectable -- and really cheap. Knowing that a doll isn't worth anything allows me to be creative without the vague anxiety that someday someone will see a doll that I've turned into a sewing caddy and say, "If you had left the doll as you found it, you'd be looking at value of $300. Now, because of your "improvements," it's worth about $5.50." Which brings us to Dolly Makeover, in which an old, unfortunate cloth doll is given a second chance to avoid being buried in a landfill.

Before...


Throwing caution to the wind, bravely disregarding Self-doubt, Anxiety, and Guilt, I took a shot at fixing her up my way. She was grubby and water-stained, with a dented face and deteriorated clothes. First I removed the crummy yarn wig (with a bonus dead grub of some kind -- gag). Then I cut a small opening in the back of her head so I could add stuffing to fill out her facial disfigurement. I have no idea how to go about cleaning pressed-cloth mask faces, so I used colored pencils to darken up her features a bit instead. Her new floss hair covered the opening in back and made her look slightly less grubby. Her dress and slip were torn and I tried to mend them, but I can't darn worth a darn, so I made her a new ensemble. The pocket from a linen blouse bought at the thrift store made nice vest. I decided to paint on her stockings and shoes. Partly to hide the water stains and keep some little holes from getting larger, and partly because I didn't want to make stockings and shoes. Overall, she turned out pretty well.

After...